Wedding Season

21 05 2010

We are gonna have tons and tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous ladies that get so aroused by the thought of marriage that they’ll throw their inhibitions to the wind. And who’s gonna be there to catch them? Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal! What do you like better, Christmas or Wedding Season? Mr. Grey? Yes. The answer would be, um, Wedding Season?

Alright kind of a lame and overused intro to the post, but it really captures the excitement of this wonderful time of year.  With many friends getting married soon, I figured now would be an appropriate time for a Top 10 list.

It’s Wedding Season!  Alright…I’ll Stop.  But here is my list of the Top 10 Reasons weddings are so awesome.

1. Reuniting With Friends: Catching up with your buddies from college is great.  You go right back to freshman year.  You get to see who’s put on the most lbs.  And you get to relive the glory days with those who were there.  “Dude, do you remember that time in the hot tub with (insert freshman year slut here)?  So tits”.  Or, “Dude, do you remember that time you woke up cuddling a Shop Vac?  Even more tits”.

2. Music/Dancing: 50 white dudes dancing their hearts out to “Shout” in an alcohol induced stupor is a beautiful sight.  You can dance as terribly as you want and no one cares.  Not to mention the oodles of beautiful women dancing with you. Just give them a little twirl and your in like sin.  I’m not much of a dancer, but by God, I can do a nasty “Soljah Boy” at a wedding.

3. Girls: Probably the best part of wedding season.  All shapes, sizes, and colors of women dressed to kill.  If you are fortunate to be single, wedding season is like the opening of duck season.  Like the quote from “Wedding Crashers” states, these women really are super aroused by the thought of getting married.  It’s almost not fair.  Like shooting fish in a barrel.

4. Hotel Rooms:  Coupled with the amount of hotties, hotel rooms just add to the ease of picking up women at weddings.  Make a good connection?  Just head up three floors to the hotel room.  It can’t get much more convenient than that.  Just make sure you take care of business before the three other guys sharing the room with you come stumbling in.

5. Finger Food: Phenomenal finger food at that.  Free phenomenal finger food.  Mini sandwiches, meatballs, shrimp cocktails, it’s all golden.  Feel free to stuff in as much as you can.  You’re gonna need to fill that belly before you hit the open bar.  Just don’t fill it up too much, you don’t want to ralph on a girl while doing the “Soljah Boy”.

6. Open Bar: Sooooo tits.  The only thing better than free food is free beer.  And as much you can drink.  Let me reiterate just how incredible Wedding Season is.  Lots of women, hotel rooms, and an unlimited supply of alcohol and food.  Am I in heaven?  I believe so.

7. Destinations: Weddings are always better when you have to travel to get to them. It also ensures that there will be hotels rooms, which we have already gone over.  Feel free to explore a city you’ve never been to.  Check out the bar scene and the locals. Unless you happen to have a wedding in, say, Pulaski, Tennessee.  Don’t explore the locals there.

8. Pre-Wedding Get Together: In most cases there will be a “social” gathering the night before the wedding.  This usually occurs at the hotel bar.  It’s pretty much a pregame for the wedding.  Give your buddy as much shit as you can for getting married because in about 15 hours, you won’t be able to ever again.

9. Bachelor Parties: I don’t really need to go into detail with this one.  We ALL know just how amazing bachelor parties can be.  Instead I will provide the readers with this incredible movie quote:

Hello. How ’bout that ride in? I guess that’s why they call it Sin City. You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack… it grew by one. So there… there were two of us in the wolf pack… I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, “Wait a second, could it be?” And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!

10. Watching a Buddy Get the Ole’ Ball and Chain: Cue taps.  Your friend is about to bite the dust.  Gone are the nights of staying up til 4 am.  Gone are the crazy party days.  But this is what it’s all about.  The reason for the season.

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100 Things That Made Growing Up In The 90’s Awesome

18 05 2010

Growing up in the 90’s was awesome.  We didn’t have a care in the world.  These are 100 things that made growing up during this decade so awesome:

1. Saved By The Bell


2. Stretch Armstrong


3. No Cell Phones


4. Candy Cigarettes

5. Rugrats

6. Jurassic Park


7. G.I. Joes

8. Tomagatchis


9. Bowl Cuts

10. Pete and Pete


11. Slap Bracelets


12. Doc Martens

13. Toy Story


14. Pop Rocks

15. Power Rangers

16. Walkmans

17. Mood Rings

18. Tommy Hilfiger Clothing

19. Nirvana

20. Big League Chew

21. Macintosh

22. Family Matters

23. Push Pops

24. Suicide Drinks

25. Salute Your Shorts

26. Pogs

27. Baseball Cards

28. Michael Jordan

29. GUTS

30. Nerf Guns

31. Beanies

32. Green Day

33. Step By Step

34. Dancing Baby

35. Play-Doh

36. Magic The Gathering

37. Hemp Necklaces

38. Dennis Rodman

39. Double Dare

40. Wayne Gretzky

41. Dial-Up Internet

42. Street Hockey

43. AOL

44. Peanut Butter Jelly Time

45. Ren and Stimpy

46. Matchbox Cars

47. Doug

48. Pamela Anderson

49. Growing Pains

50. Rosie O’Donnell

51. Roseanne

52. Titanic

53. Rage Against the Machine

54. Boy Bands

55. TRL

56. Tear Away Pants

57. Jerry Springer

58. The Real World

59. The Secret World Of Alex Mack

60. The Mighty Ducks

61. MTV Spring Breaks

62. Toy Guns

63. Sock Em Boppers

64. The Spice Girls

65. Twister

66. Bill Nye The Science Guy

67. Atomic Sours

68. No Facebook/Myspace

69. Adidas Shoes

70. Men In Black

71. Beavis and Butthead

72. Super Soakers

73. Nintendo

74. Furby

75. Are You Afraid of the Dark?

76. Tale Spin

77. Tickle Me Elmo

78. Hey Arnold!

79. Kathy Ireland

80. Laser Pointers

81. Rocko’s Modern Life

82. Tonka Trucks

83. Timberlands

84. Chinese Finger Traps

85. Beanie Babies

86. Full House

87. Roller Blades

88. Sticky Hands

89. Gak

90. Light Bright

91. Sega

92. Vortex Footballs

93. Foxtails

94. Legends of the Hidden Temple

95. The Wonder Years

96. Splash Bombs

97. All That

98.  Power Wheels

99. Soaps

100. South Park

Sources: http://www.youtube.com, http://www.google.com/images

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