Ted’s Hot Dogs- Buffalo 1 of 3- “On the Road”

8 09 2010

 

Ted’s was the first of three stops recommended by a Buffalo, NY Native.  When I did my pre-research on Ted’s before trying it myself I heard only great words about this Buffalo institution.  Ted’s differs from the majority of my stops in that it is a chain establishment.    There are multiple Ted’s located in the greater Buffalo area.   I would compare the inside to something similar to a mid-range fast food restaurant.  It was walk-up order, wait for food, then sit down.  I must say with a lunch crowd on a Monday I was very impressed with the speed when you consider HOW they cook your hotdog.  Where most restaurants would pull your hotdog out of steamer or microwave (mom style..)  Ted’s is much different.  Ted’s is a charcoal broiled hotdog and is made fresh to order.   Charcoal fast food style..tits.  I made two crucial mistakes- I did not get the onion rings or a milkshake.  I did however order a side of cheese fries (see below).   Reviews raved on the onion rings and milkshakes so I will have to wait until Buffalo to experience those parts of the meal.  It appeared that most people eating at Ted’s were locals (something much different than Anchor Bar).  The staff was extremeley friendly.  Typically when visiting “famous eateries” you run across attitude problems, cash only, long lines, and seating issues.  I had NONE of those problems with Ted’s and they offered a kethup pump vs. the packets…huge.  There is no mis-understanding to why these people have been rocking since 1927.  Also if the idea of a “footlong” intimidates you…which it shouldn’t…it is a pretty easy deal to accomplish.  Best of travels in NY.

Price: $7-10 US

*If you go: I would order the hotdog, onion rings (cause they looked amazing), and a milkshake.  However I am not the least dissapointed with my meal selection. 

What are others saying about Ted’s?

WIKIPEDIA LINK: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted%27s_Hot_Dogs

Ted’s Website: http://www.tedsonline.com/

COMING SOON: 1)Anchor Bar- Home of the Buffalo Wing 2) Beef on Weck Wonderland.





Taste of Brooklyn,NY- On the Road

16 06 2010

My recent excursion to Brooklyn, NY was quite an adventure.   One thing you will eventually figure out is that some of my motivation for picking certain eateries is due to time spent watching Man VS Food.  Overall Adam is a pretty solid dude and definitely has a tits job getting to try food all over the country.  However I will often side with other recommendations away from greasy-ass/un-healthy meals and will venture outside of the hood unlike south philly.  Brooklyn is certainly not “the hood”.   However, be aware there is a healthy amount of riff-raff walking around aimlessly.  Don’t you ever wonder what these people do? I’ll cover that later.  Let’s discuss Brennan and Carr Hot Beef.  This spot was covered in an episode of Man VS Food but my experience was slightly different from Adam’s. Probably due to the fact that I am not a celebrity and it was a random Tuesday afternoon.  I happened to be one of three people in the whole joint.  Surprise…CASH ONLY.  So once again I make the credit card walk of shame and end of paying an extra $3.25 to partake in the experience.  It was worth it.  As I sit down I am approached by what appeared to be the head chef because he was wearing a full cook outfit/hat.  He was actually the waiter and a very respectful one at that.  One issue I have to bring up: Because I was one of the only customers he stood about 3-4 feet away from my table in a militant stance waiting for an opportunity to fill my water-glass, provide additional ranch dressing, answer stupid tourist questions, and fetch more napkins. I APPRECIATE good service, and a have a great eye for it.  This was a bit aggressive. 

The menu:

I forgot to take a photo for your viewing pleasures.  It basically consisted of; Burgers, Roast Beef Sandwiches, Salad, Onion Rings, Fries (cheese optional), and then the Man vs Food item: Gargiulo Burger-A cheeseburger topped by famous Roast Beef and submerged in beef broth.  The waiter suggested it, I complied.  (see pictures below).

As you can see, its not a HUGE, NASTY BIG ASS BURGER.  Man VS Food gave off the impression that it was. It’s a decent sized burger topped with a few slices of Roast Beef.  Meaty.  I did enjoy it and would absolutely suggest it to anyone living in NYC or planning to visit in the future.  The burger itself was juicy.  I would compare it’s flavor to that of a typical burger at a college hole-in-the-wall.  The roast beef/broth is what makes this a unique experience. 

I have never tasted roast beef like this before, and I am well versed in Arby’s selections.  The broth was also delicious and is probably the component that sends the meal into tits in my face status.  It would also be short-sided to not give the onion rings a shout-out, they were the best I have ever had.  Perfectly breaded, perfectly cooked.

You will find the staff is very friendly, but hit the ATM first.  It completely blew my cover that I was a tourist, but I guess so would the fact I was wearing a collared shirt.  Hints of advice: Lock your car, don’t eat prior to engaging, it’s another pepsi joint, try to go during normal lunch hours to avoid aggressive service, my hunch says avoid dinner.  It might be where the mob grubs on roast beef.

Good times Brennan and Carr.

*Details*

Price: $10-15.00

Address: 3432 Nostrand Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11229

Next up this week: Pittsburgh’s Legendary Sandwiches.





Observations From A Sober Guy – Tailgating

3 06 2010

Ahhh…I love the smell of BBQ and beer in the morning.  When you’re in college, a sporting event isn’t a four hour activity.  It’s an all day marathon. From sunrise to way past sunset.  In most cases, heavy drinking would be in store.  But not today my friends. Today, I will be observing this wonderful activity from the eyes of a sober guy.

It’s 7:00am and I am woken from a deep slumber by the sounds of “Rocky Top” blaring from upstairs.  Really?  7am?  Give me a freaking break.  The game doesn’t start until 8 tonight.  Maybe I can sleep through this.  Just before I train my ears to withstand this sensual onslaught, my door swings open.  My roommate slides in wearing nothing but socks, boxers, and sunglasses playing air guitar with a handle of Jim Beam.  Dude.  I tell him to leave and let me sleep a little longer.  He replies with, “Go ahead and try, see what happens”, then leaves the room.  I decide to call his bluff.  Big mistake.  Just when I am about to fall back asleep, the music stops.  Thank God.  It is a premature shout out to the big man upstairs, as “Tarzan Boy” starts blaring.  For those of you unfamiliar with “Tarzan Boy”:

Fine, I’ll get up.  I head upstairs to get some breakfast and all five of my roomies are outside drinking off the keg left over from last night.  Reminder, it’s about 7:30…am. I’m pretty sure they just picked up where they left off last night seeing as two hours of sleep really doesn’t kill any buzz from a solid Friday.  Animals.  They are chatting amongst themselves about how the night will turn out.  “Dude, there are gonna be sooo many fine girls at the fraternity house, and I am going to hit on all of them.”  Or, “Dude, the Velcro Pygmies are playing at the bar after the game, there are gonna be sooo many fine girls there, and I’m going to hit on all of them.”  Aspirations that are sure to fail.  I think to myself, alright we’ve got 5 guys here.  All of which are about to drink their body weight in alcohol.  Hmmm…according to my math, two will not make it to the game, due to exhaustion from drinking all day, of course.  One will make it to the game, but will pass out in a shrub on the walk back.  One will make it back to the house to change before heading to the bar, but will pass out with his shirt halfway on and one leg in his pants.  And the last will come ever so close to his goal.  He will not only make it to the bar, but he will talk to some of these women.  In his mind it will be going great, but with sober eyes I will see the truth.  I will cover this later.

Everybody is dressed, drinks are prepared, time to head to the fraternity house for some tailgating. One of the best parts of being in a fraternity is a personal driver.  Yes, it’s true.  It is known as Beeper.  Give this poor guy a call and he will come to your doorstep and take you wherever you’d like to go.  In this case we are going to do some tailgating.  A buddy makes the call: “Beeper!  If you’re not here in 5 minutes you’re f****d!”.   This is an impossible request seeing as it will take at least 30 minutes to arrive with all of the game day traffic.  But you can just imagine the look on that poor pledge’s face.  Priceless.  Since we have some time to kill, I’ll just sit back and listen to my friends rant and rave”.

For the five years I was enrolled in college, my friends and I had the same conversation over and over and over again.  We just never realized it.  Here are some examples.  “Dude, did you see Dave at the bar last night?  Yeah, he pissed himself and didn’t realize it”.  “Henry drank so much last night, he dropped his handle of Jager and cut himself while he was picking up the pieces.  After that he puked and pissed himself, and then shit his pants while cleaning up”.  (True story).   “You should have seen the woofer that Tim hooked up with last night.  After they were done, he had to wash his hands with Evan Williams to get the smell off”. (Unfortunately, another true story).  It’s incredible that we all have degrees now.

Beeper arrives.  Time to head to the fraternity house to pregame.  We pack 6 guys and 4 girls that we picked up on the drive over in a 1999 Ford Taurus.  Talk about uncomfortable.  I pretty much know the exact anatomy of the girl on my lap since we are crammed in so tight.  We get to the house and one by one we pop out of the car. One friend yells, “Beeper, if you’re not here at this exact spot ten minutes after the game to pick me up, you’re f****d!”  He will hear this same request twenty more times. None of which will be at this exact spot.

Inside the house, there are a plethora of girls and guys dressed in orange and white.  A beautiful sight.  One girl has already hit the drinking circuit hard.  I know this because she is keeled over on the couch with five people standing around her taking pictures. Poor girl.  She will probably swear off drinking.  Good luck with that.  I follow my friends around to get in some good sober observation time but nothing is really happening.

Fast forward 2 hours.  Lots of things are happening.  I look outside and the token fat pledge is dancing to “My Humps” on the front porch.  By himself.  300+ pounds of Black Eyed Peas magic jiggling around.  Someone chucks a beer can from the above balcony and it hits him in the head.  He doesn’t even flinch.  On the front lawn there are two guys fighting.  I can’t tell if they are serious or not.  They pause, and one throws up. They laugh.  I guess they weren’t serious.  Girls are trolling around the house looking for free booze. Vultures.  It must be nice to have a vagina sometimes.  You NEVER have to pay for drinks.  But then you have to give labor so I’ll stick with my penis.

Game time draws close and I decide to sit back and gauge the intoxication level of these die hard fans.  Wow. I guess I’ve never realized before how serious some people take this.  Drinking comes first before the game.  College is awesome.  We head to the stadium where we wait in a 30 minute line to get through the gates.  This should provide some solid observations. I watch as the police pull beers, airplane bottles, and fifths out of pants, purses, and cowboy boots.  Here’s a tip for those lucky enough to still be in college: Pour your liquor of choice into a ziploc bag and tuck it in the front you your pants.  Sneakery that is guaranteed to work. We make it through the gauntlet of patrons and get to our seats.  I guess you can call these seats. More like middle school bleachers that sway every time someone sneezes. There is a guy passed out underneath these bleachers to my right.  Ziploc bags are being pulled from pants all over.  Let the game begin.

We make it to halftime and it is HOT.  I’m sweating more than a prostitute in church. And so is everyone else.  There are some guys with their shirts off that put “My Humps” to shame.  The guy behind me opens his mustard packet to load up his hot dog.  He is so hammered that he squeezes the wrong end and mustard shoots all over the back of my neck.  Duuudeee.  Had I been in my usual game day state this would not have bothered me.  But I’m sober.  And this is miserable.  I decide to call it a day and head back home until the after party.

Fast forward five hours and we are at the band party at the local joint on the strip.  The Velcro Pygmies.  Few words get Tennessee students more pumped that the name of this band:

This aged 80’s cover band is the tits.  They pack the first five rows with some unbelievable talent.  Some of these ladies will be lucky enough to have a lollipop put in their mouth by the lead singer.  Classy.  And what else screams class like having a song in their repertoire called “Pussy Whipped”.  Instead of clapping, the crowd makes vaginas with their hands and waves them around.

There are people stumbling around all over this bar.  Some probably don’t even realize that there is a band playing at an ear drum busting level.  Shouts of “FREEBIRD!” ring out.  Wrong genre, but I’m pretty sure the guys that yell this would do so at a Madonna concert.  “My Humps” still has his shirt off, elbowing girls to get to the front row.  He’s like a steamroller.  I bet he lost his shirt.  I called it.  Only one of my friends actually made it to the bar.  He is working his magic on some ugly chick in the shadows.  I move in for a closer look.  Yeah,  this girl is ugly.  He probably thinks that she looks like Heidi Klum so I decide to let him be.  Is that drool hanging from the corner of his mouth? Yep, it’s drool.  And is he petting her?  Yep, he most certainly is.  Good thing she’s just as drunk and doesn’t realize that he is treating her like his Golden Retriever. Uh oh.  Here comes her friend.  She’s definitely the DUFF.  If you aren’t sure what a DUFF is, here the definition from Urban Dictionary:

DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend

Two hot chicks at a bar will have a really nasty fat ugly bitch hanging out with them, refered to as a “DUFF”.

This spells doom.  She grabs the girl’s arm and sweeps her away.  My buddy stares in disappointment with his tongue hanging out, drool and all.  There are plenty more fish in the sea.  Don’t be discouraged.

All in all it was a solid day of sober observations.  I got to uncover a side of tailgating that I rarely see.  The debauchery is abundant.  The girls are hot.  And the drinking is out of control.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.





Heaven in South Philly- On the Road

2 06 2010

The work agenda this week brought me to the grungy city of Philadelphia.  It is very similar to the incredible show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  I decided it was time to step up to the plate and play the south philly challenge “Geno’s Steaks VS. Pat’s King of Steaks to experience the  two proclaimed “Best Philadelphia Cheesesteaks in the World”  Both walk-up style eateries have been featured on several Food Network segments and have frequent television and political visitors.   Even on a Wednesday afternoon both locations were slammed.  So instead of doing extensive internet research (as I normally do before consuming any valuable meal) I decided to ask a local.  Unfortunately the local told me to “Get Lost”.   The line was longer at Pat’s King of Steaks (make sure to check-out the links below) so I decided to give it a whirl.  It is hard to describe my current emotions for the cheesesteak I consumed today.  I am sure the picture of my order- LARGE PHILLY, EXTRA WHIZ, ONIONS, MUSHROOMS, AND PEPPERS will make your imagination run wild.   I could have been a pussy but what the hell I’m only in philly once every other month.   Here is the breakdown of the experience;

-Amazing from the first bite.  I was hesistant about the cheez whiz (mainly because of the word whiz which reminded me of the can of cheese we all knew and loved in 6th-15th grade).  But it felt right, and it was.  The steak was slightly peppered, and juicy.  All the additives only increased the amazingness.  Overall the staff was very aggressive and yelled at me because I didn’t know it was CASH ONLY and “lonny ya gonna have to put this one on the side he didn’t know about the cash!”  At which point “Lonny” yelled some sort of garbage about me.  No big deal it all adds to the experience.  Classic Northeastern behavior.  They only served pepsi products which was a pretty big party foul but I didn’t go for soda.   Seating was outdoor and I waited about 5-7 minutes for a table to open up.  It wouldn’t have bothered me except a homeless guy was sleeping on one of the tables while I held that mammoth sandwich standing in the sunlight.

All and all great trip to Downtown Philadelphia to experience a legendary deal.  Next time around I will more than likely give Geno’s a try to announce the winner.

Price: $10-15.00

BE SURE TO CHECK-OUT further reading on Pat’s King of Steaks and check-out some famous diners.

http://www.patskingofsteaks.com/

WIKIPEDIA-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pat’s_King_of_Steaks





Wedding Season

21 05 2010

We are gonna have tons and tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous ladies that get so aroused by the thought of marriage that they’ll throw their inhibitions to the wind. And who’s gonna be there to catch them? Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal! What do you like better, Christmas or Wedding Season? Mr. Grey? Yes. The answer would be, um, Wedding Season?

Alright kind of a lame and overused intro to the post, but it really captures the excitement of this wonderful time of year.  With many friends getting married soon, I figured now would be an appropriate time for a Top 10 list.

It’s Wedding Season!  Alright…I’ll Stop.  But here is my list of the Top 10 Reasons weddings are so awesome.

1. Reuniting With Friends: Catching up with your buddies from college is great.  You go right back to freshman year.  You get to see who’s put on the most lbs.  And you get to relive the glory days with those who were there.  “Dude, do you remember that time in the hot tub with (insert freshman year slut here)?  So tits”.  Or, “Dude, do you remember that time you woke up cuddling a Shop Vac?  Even more tits”.

2. Music/Dancing: 50 white dudes dancing their hearts out to “Shout” in an alcohol induced stupor is a beautiful sight.  You can dance as terribly as you want and no one cares.  Not to mention the oodles of beautiful women dancing with you. Just give them a little twirl and your in like sin.  I’m not much of a dancer, but by God, I can do a nasty “Soljah Boy” at a wedding.

3. Girls: Probably the best part of wedding season.  All shapes, sizes, and colors of women dressed to kill.  If you are fortunate to be single, wedding season is like the opening of duck season.  Like the quote from “Wedding Crashers” states, these women really are super aroused by the thought of getting married.  It’s almost not fair.  Like shooting fish in a barrel.

4. Hotel Rooms:  Coupled with the amount of hotties, hotel rooms just add to the ease of picking up women at weddings.  Make a good connection?  Just head up three floors to the hotel room.  It can’t get much more convenient than that.  Just make sure you take care of business before the three other guys sharing the room with you come stumbling in.

5. Finger Food: Phenomenal finger food at that.  Free phenomenal finger food.  Mini sandwiches, meatballs, shrimp cocktails, it’s all golden.  Feel free to stuff in as much as you can.  You’re gonna need to fill that belly before you hit the open bar.  Just don’t fill it up too much, you don’t want to ralph on a girl while doing the “Soljah Boy”.

6. Open Bar: Sooooo tits.  The only thing better than free food is free beer.  And as much you can drink.  Let me reiterate just how incredible Wedding Season is.  Lots of women, hotel rooms, and an unlimited supply of alcohol and food.  Am I in heaven?  I believe so.

7. Destinations: Weddings are always better when you have to travel to get to them. It also ensures that there will be hotels rooms, which we have already gone over.  Feel free to explore a city you’ve never been to.  Check out the bar scene and the locals. Unless you happen to have a wedding in, say, Pulaski, Tennessee.  Don’t explore the locals there.

8. Pre-Wedding Get Together: In most cases there will be a “social” gathering the night before the wedding.  This usually occurs at the hotel bar.  It’s pretty much a pregame for the wedding.  Give your buddy as much shit as you can for getting married because in about 15 hours, you won’t be able to ever again.

9. Bachelor Parties: I don’t really need to go into detail with this one.  We ALL know just how amazing bachelor parties can be.  Instead I will provide the readers with this incredible movie quote:

Hello. How ’bout that ride in? I guess that’s why they call it Sin City. You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack… it grew by one. So there… there were two of us in the wolf pack… I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, “Wait a second, could it be?” And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!

10. Watching a Buddy Get the Ole’ Ball and Chain: Cue taps.  Your friend is about to bite the dust.  Gone are the nights of staying up til 4 am.  Gone are the crazy party days.  But this is what it’s all about.  The reason for the season.





Your “Top Five Travel Hints” of the Week

19 05 2010

May I interest you in any warm cookies?

Greetings from East Brunswick, NJ!  Hopefully that location tells you how exciting my destination is. New Jersey sucks.  Northern New Jersey, that is.  Southern New Jersey, around PA, is actually quiet nice and is the part that earned the state the nickname “Garden State”.  From what I can tell, there isn’t a garden within 10 f***ing miles of where I am sitting.

I am here to bring you the “Top Five Travel Hints” for this week but I will make local suggestions throughout these articles. I am also developing quite the list on UrbanSpoon (a website and favorite iPhone application) where I write reviews from various eateries.

Local suggestion: The Frog and Peach.
Located right in the heart of Downtown New Brunswick, this place is a pretty good spot.  I could especially see this being a date spot…too bad I couldn’t convince a girl to come to New Brunswick with me during the work week.  Pretty expensive but they do have a “Frugal Farmer” section where you get a 3 course meal for around $30. The chicken meatballs were all sorts of tits.  They also had a featured item – “Macaroni and Cheese with Aged Gouda”.  This wasn’t mom’s Kraft mac and cheese with hotdogs…but it’ll do.

Here are your TOP FIVE TRAVEL HINTS for this week:

1.)  Ask for an upgrade – More than likely it will be “unavailable”.  However, I have found that rarely you actually find someone who doesn’t hate their life and they will give you the hook up. The important thing here is; If you don’t ask, you will not receive. Last week, I asked and they hooked me up with a handicapped room with a super-badass bathroom and a shower so big I could have fit a lazy-boy in there.  A big bathroom is always a party plus.

2.)  Arrive to your lodging between 4:30-6ish – During this time the majority of hotels offer complimentary warm cookies. Enough said.

3.)  Ask your selected hotel if they have a “manager’s reception/happy hour” – Many hotels do not advertise this feature but you can find out with a quick phone call.  This is a period of time between 5-7pm where the hotel offers free beer/wine/appetizers for guests of the hotel.  Even if your not a guest, I would suggest going if you’re dressed business casual or more. Quick hint for Nashvillians: The Embassy Suites near Opry Mills has an exceptional ‘manager’s reception’ that includes liquor.

4.)  Ask the receptionist if the hotel partners with a local gym – This is easy enough. Most of the time hotels will have sub-par workout facilities and will partner with LA Fitness for free sessions if staying at the hotel. Great way to get out.

5.) Always check your AC unit AS SOON AS you enter your hotel room – If for some reason the AC in your room is f***ed up,  you will suffer greatly. Get that sort of issue resolved quickly.

~Any suggestions or travel hints of your own?  Please post!~





100 Things That Made Growing Up In The 90’s Awesome

18 05 2010

Growing up in the 90’s was awesome.  We didn’t have a care in the world.  These are 100 things that made growing up during this decade so awesome:

1. Saved By The Bell


2. Stretch Armstrong


3. No Cell Phones


4. Candy Cigarettes

5. Rugrats

6. Jurassic Park


7. G.I. Joes

8. Tomagatchis


9. Bowl Cuts

10. Pete and Pete


11. Slap Bracelets


12. Doc Martens

13. Toy Story


14. Pop Rocks

15. Power Rangers

16. Walkmans

17. Mood Rings

18. Tommy Hilfiger Clothing

19. Nirvana

20. Big League Chew

21. Macintosh

22. Family Matters

23. Push Pops

24. Suicide Drinks

25. Salute Your Shorts

26. Pogs

27. Baseball Cards

28. Michael Jordan

29. GUTS

30. Nerf Guns

31. Beanies

32. Green Day

33. Step By Step

34. Dancing Baby

35. Play-Doh

36. Magic The Gathering

37. Hemp Necklaces

38. Dennis Rodman

39. Double Dare

40. Wayne Gretzky

41. Dial-Up Internet

42. Street Hockey

43. AOL

44. Peanut Butter Jelly Time

45. Ren and Stimpy

46. Matchbox Cars

47. Doug

48. Pamela Anderson

49. Growing Pains

50. Rosie O’Donnell

51. Roseanne

52. Titanic

53. Rage Against the Machine

54. Boy Bands

55. TRL

56. Tear Away Pants

57. Jerry Springer

58. The Real World

59. The Secret World Of Alex Mack

60. The Mighty Ducks

61. MTV Spring Breaks

62. Toy Guns

63. Sock Em Boppers

64. The Spice Girls

65. Twister

66. Bill Nye The Science Guy

67. Atomic Sours

68. No Facebook/Myspace

69. Adidas Shoes

70. Men In Black

71. Beavis and Butthead

72. Super Soakers

73. Nintendo

74. Furby

75. Are You Afraid of the Dark?

76. Tale Spin

77. Tickle Me Elmo

78. Hey Arnold!

79. Kathy Ireland

80. Laser Pointers

81. Rocko’s Modern Life

82. Tonka Trucks

83. Timberlands

84. Chinese Finger Traps

85. Beanie Babies

86. Full House

87. Roller Blades

88. Sticky Hands

89. Gak

90. Light Bright

91. Sega

92. Vortex Footballs

93. Foxtails

94. Legends of the Hidden Temple

95. The Wonder Years

96. Splash Bombs

97. All That

98.  Power Wheels

99. Soaps

100. South Park

Sources: http://www.youtube.com, http://www.google.com/images

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