Top 5 Manliest Sports

14 05 2010

We all love sports.  Some love basketball.  Some love baseball.  Let’s face it, these are sissy sports.  Yes, hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do in sports.  Yes, finesse in basketball is unrivaled, but we want blood.  We want dirty, nasty, hair on your chest sports.  Here are my Top 5 Manliest Sports:

5. Competitive Eating

Nothing captures the spirit and tugs on the heartstrings of men across America quite like competitive eating.  It is like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter dinners all rolled into one.  These guys actually condition their stomachs to be able to eat like this.  What a job.

4. Bull Riding

Bull riders are tough.  Real tough.  Only horse racing allows the participant to ride an animal, but c’mon, those are horses.  Bulls are unpredictable wild animals.  They have their nuts tied up with a 180 pound human on their back.  Talk about pissing them off.  Welp, let’s hop on and go for a ride!

3.  MMA

UFC is HUGE.  It has blown up faster that any sport in the past decade.  And for good reasons.  Put two guys in a cage and watch them duke it out until one is left standing.  It is the closest we can get to the gladiators.  The only thing that could make MMA better is to throw a lion in the mix like in the Coliseum days.

2. Rugby

Contact sports without pads.  Sounds like a great idea.  These guys are crazy.  No, I’m serious.  They have to have a screw loose somewhere to play Rugby.  It is unfortunate that this tough guy sport has not caught on in the United States.   But give it time.  All these guys drooling over football would have an orgasm if they just sat down and watched a full rugby match.

1. Hockey

WARNING: THIS VIDEO IS GRAPHIC.  Now that I’ve got that out of the way, if this can happen in a sport, it is a manly one.  Clint Malarchuk, the goalie injured in the video, returned to practice just four days after having his interior carotid artery severed.  He was playing in goal a week after that.  Now, that’s a hockey player for you.  This would have been a career ending injury for just about every other sport. Just because I grew up watching a playing hockey does not make me biased, alright maybe a little bit, but I firmly believe that hockey is the manliest sport around.  Put a hockey team on the football field and I’d bet they could form some resemblance of a football game.  Put a football team on an ice rink , and well, you get the point.  Players carry around weapons with sharp blades attached to their feet.  The only other sport in which fighting is not only legal, but promoted, is boxing.  Not to mention the traditions of not washing lucky underwear and playoff beards.  Hockey is all that is man.

Sources: http://www.youtube.com, http://www.wikipedia.org

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