Top 10 Things I Hate About Work

12 05 2010

Let me set this up…

I can probably think of a million things I hate about work and I’m sure you could, too.  If you’re one of those people who actually claim to “enjoy” their job, then you are one of three things…

1) Delusional 2) Complete Loser OR 3) Filthy Rich

Anyways, I’ll be doing this Top 10 one post at a time…and as fast and slow as things piss me off at work…and in no specific order of hatred…and here we go!

#1 – The Communal Refrigerator

Insulated lunch bags make you look like a fairy.

At first thought, the idea of a communal refrigerator sounds glorious.  You might think, “Finally, a place where I can store my lunch and rest assured that it will be just like my fridge at home!”

Wrong, wrong, wrong.  It only takes one shithead to ruin the fridge for evvvvveryone else.

Allow me to elaborate…I actually woke up early to make my own lunch (and this is rare).  I make a turkey sandwich with the good bread (and you know what I mean by good bread).  I even took the time to throw some lettuce and pickles on the damn thing.  I brown bag it and throw it the communal fridge.  I swear, it and this never fails, that everyday of the week some jackass has to get their TUNA fix.  You know who you are…and you should be ashamed of yourself.  There should be a bylaw that thou stanky tuna shall never be allowed to enter thy communal fridge.  To get to my point, my turkey sandwich that has been in the chill box since early morning has actually been marinating in gagging aroma of putrid fish.  Have you ever eaten a turkey sandwich that tastes like tuna?  It’s miserable, disappointing, and ultimately nauseating.

Other Communal Refrigerator Pitfalls:

  • “Don’t you dare put your lunch box ON TOP of my brown bag lunch, Janice.”
  • Swiping my snacks makes me want to sneak-attack you…you don’t want that, trust me.
  • Just because I have a whole gallon of milk in the fridge DOESN’T mean you can use a splash for your coffee creamer.
  • “Good God, Clarence, is that your leftover Chili’s from last week that’s growing mold?”
  • I don’t care how much you like banana peppers.  Do NOT buy your economy sized jar and expect people to be cool with it taking up half the fridge.
  • If you do want to write your name on your lunch, please add an additional and humorous threatening remark as well…or a joke…or a slam on another coworker that eats out everyday.
  • If you spill something, clean it up or I’m using your sweater to do it…I’ve seen me do it before.
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